Bliss

I did mention i cant shut me up...so this is beyond me...im talking!

Well,bliss may not be exactly the word here....but when u really think about it...its true..even for a split second!...then one goes back to whining and complaining...:/

I have no idea why,but i've looking at everything in my life as a blessing recently...even the little insignificant things that most people take for granted.....which made me realize how dependant i am on those things...im stressed out now having to admit that im dependent on people and stuff.....would i like to change that?!...i dont know,im not sure....sometimes its a great feeling knowing that someone will always be there....that someone will do the "worrying" for u concerning certain things...or sometimes its something...some machine....enough of this!!!...lets be specific!

I've come to realize not everyone has cute warm pajamas to sleep with,in a huge cozy bed of their own,in their own bedroom....the luxury of sleeping in a safe home,surrounded by people to protect u no matter what....and not asking for anything in return....i always think about that on rainy day...i think about those who are sleepless in a damp cold place...thinking about tomorrow....the whole idea of being able to sleep in the first place...and not having too many worries to keep u up all night is pricless!...el-7amdiulallah...

im thinking now how dependent i am on my mobile,that little thing that wakes me up eveyday...also...whenever i want....no obligations or pressure to consider...(except for my 8 a.m. lecture!which i can no longer skip...grrr!)...my whole day would start with a mess if that alarm clock in my mobile didnt wake me up!....not to metion the boiler's timer that gets it turned on on time so i'd enjoy my bath in the morning...it would be sooo annoying if i had to wake up...turn it on...and wait!
That of course brings me to another gift....WATER!....i can actually take a bath whenever i want!!!....i never think about this!....which by the way helps me stay clean...its really sad that some people have no choice but to put up with their bad smell coz they cant afford water!...

so i wake up,n i get to do whatever it is i wanna do in a "clean bathroom"....cleaned every single day...thanx to the maid!....aaaah!...donht even get me started on that....i'd be miserable if i had to clean it myself every now n then!...or do the dishes....i HATE housework!!!!...i dont really dig our maid..she's got the weirdest character ever!...but i admit i owe her....she really helps me out...

now im blessed with a clean bathroom...in which i find a soap,a toothpaste...and a leave-in conditioner (the main benefit here is for people,i dont mind my hair going nuts!) ....i wont even get started on those products....i feel spoiled talking about them.

then all i have to do is have a cup of coffee...which i cant function without!....how silly is that,ha?!!...dependent on a cup of coffee....!!!..still,its not an option for some.

now im heading to my room,to get dressed...B))))....u probably know where im getting at...my closet!!!!....well....thinking about it...i dont have a lot of clothes!!!...seriously...but i cant say the same about my shoes,which are aaalll over the house!.....i really hate the fact that i get what i want most of the time....im not being ungrateful....but....i know this is not going anywhere good...n im wont do any self-therapy and be the one to a put a end to that!...na na....thats just dump!....all im saying is that i appreciate the fact that i had two pairs of shoes brought to me from the other part of the world.....oooh my....im way too picky!!!..thank God my parents can afford me.

Thank God im studying exactly what i want....thank God i've got everything i need to excel....thank God i have a mother that worries about me n cooks me a different meal each n every day(n im mean enough not to eat sometimes)....thank God i have a car to get me where i wanna go and enough money for fuel(thats BIG!)....thank God a have a father who keeps on telling me not to worry about anything...thank God i had those parents while i was growing up to teach me how to think(still in that phase..;/)....thank God i got my sisters and brothers,who are like a second me!i can never imagine life without them....thank God i have loyal,amusing,honest,easy-going,fun-loving friends....thank God i have an mp3 player to keep my company when im just sick of people!

not everyone has the luxury of doing nothing at all whn they feel like it (starting my sis,who has two kids!)...most people do not enjoy their freedom....not eveyone can screw up sometimes and know they're not gonna be judjed for it...not everyone can eat whatever they want(if they could eat in the first place)......and most of all...not eveyone is normal,healthy!!!....

I never want to be dependent, i'd cut myself out of anyone or anything if i even doubt im addicted to it...at least that what i say...i'd like to be able to live a perfectly normal life armed with nothing but myself....
but.....facing the truth...


So Dependent....so Protected....so Spoiled.....and SOO BLESSED!

Fading....

My playlist for tonight...

Norah Jones-The long day is over

Lifehouse-Everything

Sarah Mclachlan-Good enough

Norah jones-Shoot the moon

U2-with or without u

The cranberries-Daffodil lament

Norah jones-The grass is blue

Sarah Mclachlan-The rainbow connection

Natural behavior

When u have an exam : U study

When u have to submit a sketch : U draw it

When u have a lecture : U attend (and listen,if possible!)

When there's a due date : U stick to it!

why on earth do i question those?

( SIGH )

If 'Anyone' knows 'Anyone' who has a similar car n ready to let it go...let me know!

I really dont know where to start.

Im not sure i can hold it together and write a decent post....
Angry..
Shocked....
Shaken...
Disgusted..
Disappointed...
Ashamed...
Im in Denial..!

I mean....whyy???
how did at all start?!
Why is it getting worse!??!!??!!
whatever happened to common sense?!!!???!!!
are they hipnotized,blind?!??!!
Is there any limit?!!!!
how can i avoid this!????
Do i really need to accept this??!!!!?
how many people are honest to themselves?!!?!!!
Why is it spreading like crazy?!??!!!
what made them think they have the right to it??!!!
why are there always misconceptions?!??!!
does it have to be like that?!?!!?
What are they hoping to achieve?!?!!?

Grifet....

I JUST HATE THE LACK OF MORALITY AND RELIGION AMONG INTELLECTUALS

DISTORTION

gettin' things out....

Politics = Non-sense

n i desperatly need to get over my fear of cockoroaches!

There's nothing...and i mean nothing....

like the satisfaction I get when playing music

i was gonna add an expression...but only my face can explain how i feel...n i dont feel like posting my face!

expression : suspicious sarcastic .

Amman on a thureday night.....is this real?...or its just how i see it?!!??!!

STANDPOINT

yeah...

i guess thats it....
there's no better way for self expression....words..soo direct...straight to the point.

u just say it...so bluntly....n people get it without even thinking about it....is it because we're soo used to using them that we stopped analyzing what is said....maybe thats one of the reasons people stopped thinking.....i mean isnt communication one of our basic needs....so if we have this safe way that never fails us....we just stick to it....n abuse it!!!...hehehe...people talk too much if u ask me....i wonder why dont they think whether what they'r about to say's really worth saying??....or who cares enough to listen?!?....or do they have a point in the first place!!


hmmm....as simple as they sound....as boring and tipical they may seem....words are not that easy to find!.....to know what to say...how to say it.....whether u should say it or not!.....now i hate that fact..... but the more u talk....the more screwd u are....B)

is it really that hard to express urself through something else....music...art....dance....face expressions.....gestures....smells....photography....food....silence(thts a gud one!)
well its either hard and tricky....OR!....people are just not willing to make the effort to analyze what are u saying.....i find it soo refreshing that people never have the same interpretation for those things....i know people also disagree about words!.....but what can we do....we gotta complicate things.....B)
sooooo...im drifting from one thought to another,thats just me.....
its just that im thinking n writing at the same time....n me is confused,lost,and unfocused....
but i got a conclusion here!!.....words happen to be the most effecient way for communication....wanna go past words.....u gotta master words first.....
well not u...personally....in talkin to myself here...;p
and so not to violate my rules....(im talking!!)....here's a song....which i have noo idea how to upload.....
James blunt-Tears and rain
one more thing...my 4-yr old neice is actually holding her lip gloss as a mic...singing along with nancy agram...8)....aah...she has no idea wht she's saying!

memories...

one project..two girlz..one poor little piece of paper!

i love this paper....the project will follow...B)

HEEEY!

...WHO TURNED THE LIGHTS OFF???!!!

ahead.....

i just passed through this crazy impulsive moment,i deleted my blog,wanted to start a whole new one...expressing myself through ANYTHING but words....then i realized there's no way in hell i can keep my mouth shut!...if my whole family cant shut me up...u think i can???!!!

so now im analyzing what happened...why did i delete my blog?
i felt exposed.
i wrote a loot of personal thoughts....n i dont usually open up easily....i need to trust the person im dealing with.....completely!....its either i trust u...or i dont!....n in this case...i dont even know u!....thats something i need to get over.
why the speechless blog?
im an architect-to-be.....a designer....designers dont need words i believe....

why am i doing this all over again?
lets see...
am i a gud writer?...nop
would i like to meet new people?...i dont think so
would i like to be heard?...nt really...
i got nothing to do?...hell no!!!...8/

but on second thoughts...maybe my subconcious would like some of all the obove....i'de like to improve my 'self expression' skills....meeting different mentalities is not all that bad....n having people read my thought might be useful to me and who knows...i might be useful after all...people might find what i write inspiring...encouraging....controversial....welllll...usually it'll be offensive....i know me...im always against the norm....the usual....the tipical...
but i never have nothing to do....."there's no pleasure in having nothing to do...the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it".....that's me!
soooo..im gonna do this.....im gonna start something n go through with it for once.....personal?...who cares?....i got nothing to be ashamed of.
welcome to my blog!