[ untitled ]

scene {1}
Girls' bedroom...in a very simple moderate happy home...the contents of the room are worth more than the house all together (exaggerated)...three sisters...and the mother....one's trying to figure out what to wear to her date....and she's nagging that her sisters help her out...she has a serious frown on her face...hoping this would pressure her elder sister to let her wear some of her expensive clothes...that are far beyond her age....the mother pops in every 10 minutes...once telling the girls that she told their father they're going to their afterschool class(so they'd be able to go out).....and once again taking the fathers mobile to make sure she answers whoever calls...for her precious son....sent a message to his girlfriend and tried calling her from that number...which leaded to several people answering the phone..except the girlfriend!....the last time she gets into the room...she stands by her couragous daughter who's trying to get dressed....its a tough call...with a similar frown...urges both sisters to help....she stands there...pressing her hands together...and looking at her daughter(worried)....til the daughter get fed up and walks out of the room..(probably to cry her heart out at some other room)....then she starts coming in n' out...acting like a messanger between the two sisters...to get the holy message of the elder sister to the other...on what she should and should 'NOT' wear.


scene {2}
Large house.....with a couple of inhabitants running around....its noon..the daughter is applying some basic make-up (concealer,kohl)....the mother passes by....quietly...she passes again...and again....then looks at her daughter and says : make-up was not made to be applied when going to uni.


scene {3}
A house of mourning......its the end of the third day...and people are sitting there chatting...mostly relatives....they'r 'almost' over it...there's this friends wife thats been there for soo long...they'r actually waiting for her to leave so they can order some dinner and end this peacefully...her little girl....a 3 year-old girl (maximum)...gets all comfy and starts playing around with the other kids....her way of playing a round...shouting aggressivly with eyes wide open (in a scray pause) at everyone "mish ra7 a7ottillik mikyaaaaj"..."i wont apply any make up for you"!


scene {4}
its party time...and the whole family is getting ready....whether its a wedding or an engagement party...its all the same....the mother soo concerned about how her daughters will look for she wants "at least" one of them married...SOON!....one daughter...has it all figured out...calmly puts on decent gown...some make-up...and she's ready....the mother quietly thinks...she's fat...
the other...is worried about the final football game between italy and france....she puts on a very sexy dress....which her mother tried to reduce by "patching"
it at particular spots....they all go....and the dress ends up smoking 'argileh" at a friends rooftop while watching the game til 1 A.m....


scene {5}
A very beautiful young lady...naturally....has been dating this goegeous guy for seven years....gorgeous here doesnt have to be handsome...he's smart...ambitious...polite...and rich(vvery rich!)....they finally get engaged and its all official....she has artificial eyelashes...2 hair extensions...enourmous amounts of creams and make-up...her hair (which once was lovely) is now burnt out from dying it excessivly.....tatooying her eyebrows is into consideration...she's 160 cm tall....and weighs around 48 kgs....the fiance...warns her that if she gained weight...there's gonna be competition....and he wants her to lose some....and SHE...is happy to obbey....

'sigh'

does it seem...

...broken

...lifeless

...worn out

...sparkling

...dizzying

...surreal

...melancholic

when its just..The maid's combination!


so..whether this is it...or what i want of it...ana garfaaan.

Time and Place
always..beats the hell out of human beings

How do you tell someone they've been doing it all wrong for the past x-years?
or you just DON'T...

open circui(t ,s)

Cause and effect : The homework

I have this homework.
so...im doing.......anything but the homework.
then i'll stay up late finishing it...:\
thats just the way things go around here...'sigh'

oh.

one more thing...dont u just love tracing paper...aand big erasers?!


so...for starters...im really wondering why none of those who read my last post had anything to say????....YES....YOU!
i mean really...why is it when i start talking about this particular topic..people turn speechless?
im the speechless here,remember?
i cant promise that ur opinion will be valued or appreciated...at least let me know where ur coming from....where this whole town is coming from?

el-muhem,
I thought i did reach a conclusion concerning my beliefs...the "tawjihi" year was more than enough for me to lets say...meditate?....i actually spent the last couple of months of tawjihi(when ur supposed to wrap up what u did all year) thinking and dreaming...i cant even remember what was it all about...but i did manage to waste all that time....that i used to go to my tests shaking(n im sooo not the kind of person who's ever afraid of tests,its either u know it or u dont!)...coz i knew i was relying on my previous studies...looong ago...
this is what i came up with :

I only acknowledge religion as a source of right and wrong..of course..at this age...i cant get myself to suddenly implement everything my religion says,so i'll do what i can,and work on the rest....meanwhile...everything else that doesnt have clear standards by religion,I and only I will decide what is appropriate....society doesnt fall anywhere near this equation..having excluded 'the parental effect'...which is....pretty strong in my case.

but recently,i've been reading a lot of stuff written by athiests...who sound too desprate,speaking of God in the most inappropriate way. Jews,so drenched in their beliefs,and their promised land yada yada.Some are attacking religion soo very aggressivly,which makes you wonder...why are those people soo anti-religion?

got me thinking.what if im not on the right track,for every single one of those is completely convinced they are...what if im blindly following something i enherited...what if im just complicating my life and making it harder with some myth??...how would life be if i were an athiest...anti-religion...or a jew?


even Harder


lets start with the athiest,i dont think i can go on living in this world not believing there's some superior power that knows the answer for everything,takes care of everything...some power i can turn to when things go wrong..when i feel helpless and small...(which every human is)....part of me believes in the humanists' argument....the superiority of human race...but this superiority has a limit...which is something u learn by experience....maashi,u can be totally dependant,fullfill all ur needs..say..90%-95% of the time......but eventually...there will come a moment...when u stand soo helpless to whats going on inside u and around u.

then what?

nature?...nature miiin??....magic and all that stuff...thats just scary and incontrollable...
another human being?...hell no!....u can do whatever any human can do...there's no reason why u should turn to something either equal or less than u...right?
the UN...?!??!!!!


thats one thing.
and of course....there's my dear corrupted self...wouldnt acknowledge ANYTHING...and i mean anything if not religion,and of a superior power......so being an athiest basically demolishes every single rule i go by in my whole life....
i would literally let myself loose if it wasnt for religion.
i mean really loose..imagine...a human soul let loooooose.....
nothing...and not even me would have the right to tell me what to do....for nothing is any better than i am.
and thats freedom right?


llla2!



Freedom "again!" has limits....i cannot see the beauty or effeciency of unlimited freedom...imagine my room...when i stop putting anything where it belongs....it becomes really hard to find one decent piece to wear in the morning...or find my tape and triangle to do that miserable homework!
imagine lasagna!...if not put in a suitable pyrex...u cant even cook it...let alone eat it...
i must have some more meaningful examples to prove my point...i just need to dig into my head...n i dont feel like it..B/

so..i conclude im on the right track...that was hours ago...now im just tired of typing!!
if religion did not rule my life...nothing will...anything and everything will be possible...and thats way more than any human can take...its a wide wide world(probably thats why people lose it and commit suicide)..and for my life not to be ruled by anything....it will 'eventually' become unbearable.unlivable.


im sticking to religion...for so far..my religion did prove its a way of life...it proved it works....its superior and it makes perfect sense.

and now,i have officially exposed my naivety.
weelll...whatever...thats just who i am.
i am 'also' going to do the homework.
efff!
here i come.