What the...????!!!
la 7awla wala quwata illa billah...
i really dont wanna say something i'll regret...fa lets get straight to the point...

Me...dozz...was living in my little cute purple shell...comfortable...isolated....drenched in my purple dreams...not wanting to hear anything about the outside world..i was....floating....mirtaa7aa...!

im wont get to the part where my sis n best friend just disappeared with a huge mess prior to that....traveling...finals...the wedding...all done....and naan's gone!...fine....i believe i was dealing with it pretty 'maturly'....cried n still crying at certain moments...but i just dont have a problem with my sis marrying a great guy!

so....me...dozz...thought she should find something to distract herself before life becomes soo unbearable(after all...evenings were always spent with naan since she cant go out at night!) n was recommended for a job exactly one day after the wedding....Perfect!...i thought.....went there...met the guy...n it turns out the guy im supposed to work for is a very good friend of both of my sisters!...even better...so dozz starts working..designing websites...n when dozz starts designing something for the first time.....its stomach ache...headaches...teeth clenched....u know....
i soooo didnt want to screw up this time...i knew i could do it...n i worked n worked....that my mum n brother started warning me that spending too many hours facing the computer is just insane.....n THAT was ironic...me couldnt spend more than 10 min. facing that machine before...i guess i just had to overcome that!

Summer course starts....n after the usual struggle...9 credit hours were set...just the way i wanted...

then...my brother's wife gave birth...to this adorable little creature im dying to see...n my mum has to go help them out since she's their first child....they'r on their own...abroad.

and...THATS when the actions starts...
i got summer course...a job (thank God the guy is not being pushy abt it)....n this whole household to manage!....AAND...no naaan!
summer course starts at 8....8 a.m. lecture is just something i CAAAANT DOOO!...bt again....i'd rather do it now than next semester....so ma3lesh....then comes this extremely boring class...statics...that revolves around 2-3 laws....with a professor who's actuallt shy to speak out...so u dont really get a word from what he's saying....bardo i'll servive that....THEN....its building construction....the past sememser...a professor was determined to make a min. of 40 student drop the course,flunk,or just get out of his way....im serious here...my case...'in7aramet'....n im sure i didnt excced my limit....n so are 18 of my collegues.....but that's just the JU....i got a bunch of 'A' students taking the course again with me....so...whatever!

This time..its not the same "naughty" professor...its another old cute one....that u cant help but respect....he's firm...straight...n he really wants to teach us something...which i find sooo refreshing...n cant argue with...ya3ni...in short....this class 'mish maz7ah' this time.

im usually done at 12-1....driving through ammans streets is becoming more n more of a challnege!....u get home roasted....in my case...to find the little ones...yaya n ka'kooti waiting there eagrly for dozz to arrive....the world lightens up for a couple of minutes...then i find myself following them around....n i just CANT take it...not after sleeping for a mx of 5 hours...n spending the whole morning with people boring u to sleep again....n driving home in a black car!

now...a new aspect....THE HOUSE.
now that the queen's gone...im just taking her place...i never knew men were sooo childish...i got my brother n my father with me...n thats the hardest part of it all!!!
father's not supposed to eat salted food...so somebody's gonna have to cook....options are...my aunts (fathers' sisters)....n in that case the only one who can eat would be daddy....Or...urs truly.
urs truly spent a couple of days before the queen leaves arguying that she wont be responsible for anyhting when mum leaves....but when the time came...just take a look at what happenend :
gotta wake up earyly to get daddy's milk ready..."including weekends"...or else...i'll wake up to find my aunt n her daughter (whom im not very fond of) staring at the bedroom door...fine...i dont care much about sleep anyway....then i gotta find someway to cook it all...so we'd actually eat!....of course my brother states proudy here thats he cant eats my aunts food...n that he doesnt like her being around all the time....but the most he can do is....tell me to grow up...n go out!...'sigh'...boys...no wait...he's a grown man!....
aunt is always here in the morning coz dad doesnt want the house to be empty for like 3-4 hours!....we just care too much about the house's feelings that we cant leave him alone with reno....who's really not reliable...bs ya3niiii...i can assure u...they can both servive it....

so getting rid of aunt is just up to me...since it doesnt really make any difference with dad...n bro 's "mish ma3zooom"!
which...by the way...makes me feel bad each time i do it.

then there's groccery shopping...n thats just nerve-comsuming if ur a young lady...coz those people stare at u like...........AAAAAH!

now...today's special....the wedding.
there was this wedding today for a far relative...we had to go for we got a close relationship with this particular family...so "we" skipping on this one was just not an option (or oftion 3a ra2i 'R')...
brother didnt wanna have anything to do with it...so he left me to go with daddy....where do i start on this one???!!!...the last time i went out alone with dad...or the last time i went to a family's wedding???!!!!.....i HATE HATE HATE these things....i just cant relate...n i spend the whole 3-4 hours trying to put a smile on my face coz there's no reason not to!!!...3eib ya3ni!
one aunt actually calls during the day to tell dad that they'r gonna pick me up at that time n bla bla bla....soo i get soooo furious coz
1.she should speak to me!
2.mayb i dont wanna go with u!
3.i got toms to do...n looks like im stuck with this wedding...

i know i know i know....im being mean...overreacting...aunts are all just trying to be nice n help us out...i understand...but we're three perfectly normal adults in this house...we CAN manage on our own!...n we dont want no interference from people who dont know their limits.at least i dont.

"sigh"
i go take a bath...n surrender to the fact that im going to this wedding...none of the cousins i relate to there...n i actually have to socialize n represent the familyfor the very first time....mum...to be specific...maaashi....i go...find the first thing to wear...n just run downstairs to end this thing as soon as possible...for i have to come back cook...n im still wroking on this website that i should've delivered 2 days ago....i switch on the light of the staircase...n there it goes!!!...A HUGE coccoroache....exactly the one that can....shake my whole world!!....i dont lose it...i call reno...she takes care of it...dad tells her to (spray..:p) them...n we're out.

now just so i get this out while im still on it....whn we came back...turns out spraying them wasnt exactly the best idea for as soon as i got off the car...there was one wondering at the garage...switched on the lights again...n a bunch dead at the stairs....when we reached upstairs...brother tells us that when reno sprayed the area...he could actually HEAR them moving.....from upstairs....;'O...how maaany are theeey???!!!...how on earth will i sleep 2day???!!

la 7awla wala quwata illa billah...

the wedding was a mess....n too many people were part of this mess....im too sleepy to speak in detail....bs there's got to be another way to ger married around here....people just went insane....in a vvvery cheap manor....place was crowded...though it was held at a pristiguous hall....the music was just....polluting....im positive it did cause hearing damages.....couldnt even eat the food...im not sure if its me n my stomache that has been upset for the last couple of days...willa it was just not food!...bs heck!..they were happy!....sometimes...u just get amazed by the things that can make a person content...n perfectly satisfied....really weird.

i found out recently im a night person...bt right now...i could just die...im soooo damn tired.
n tomorrow doesnt hold much to look forward to...pretty much the same...varrying details.


i always thoguth i love this life where u keep urself busy that u forget to eat...but that is just too much all together....i miss the days i used to walk around tables in circles n think....which was around 'all the time' previously....oooh....the peace...

God is trying to make me try everything i never experienced in 2 weeks....
I miss my shelll....