I always have reasons...never excuses

The over-dozz

no...its not me

December 18

all asleep..though all is not much these days...

its not that quiet....there's silence...and peace...

it was a strange day....i still feel awkward....so i thought...the only way to put an end to all this uneasiness im feeling is to write...i might not make sense...or entertain anyone....im just not ready to do my homework yet...(like i'll ever be)...

this semester feels like its been going on for years...feels like i've comsumed it all....the same lectures.....and settings....the same breaks....the same hang out-s....the same talk....and the same food....the same clothes....the same exaustion...dizziness....amnesia....the same reflection...looking back at me over and over again....the same nodes....a constant distributed load.....

changing seasons....


but is that enough reason to drag urself out of bed in the morning?

or

...should u..as a result...be willing to start dancing at uni....(had my parents in mind so i couldnt do it)....

woke up 2day...on a phone call...stomach was not welll....had an urge to have my coffee [black]....
...have no idea what made me wear some make-up....and for the first time in my entire life...black pants...with a black jacket....where did these come from aslan??!

went out....got in the car...to find 2 songs i like on the radio....which...was soothing...especially that i had no interest what-so-ever to go to uni or do the work im supposed to do...i just showed up.....to find 4 freaks trying to do their job.....holding meetings down here and up there....to come up with the conclusion that they should give us our sketch designs and 20 minutes to sum up what we're gonna do...8)......they just ammuse me sometimes

they decided to 'reveal' our marks for the latest analysis....and that was an insult...the sketch design...was pretty humiliating for us....the lack of common-sense....is just....im 'speechless'...friends got...1.Mad....2.pissed off......me?.....i guess i evaluate myself....and thats more than enough for me.....
over-confident...maybe....but i cant afford otherwise...
had some strange peace all the while.

sat outside...talking...listening to music..like there was nothing going on down there.....trying to figure out a way to get ourselves back on track for those upcoming nodes......problem is...no threat moves me anynmore....

decided to go out....got in the car...and drove...with no destination in mind....somehow...we ended up ta the bake house....eating....and sipping tea sooo slowly.....i was tempted to just sit there for a week or so....staring at the ceiling....i felt contained.

we had an extra hour to the next lec.....spent it on some stairs....talking...feeling cold....building a fire.....taking hilarious pictures.....til sunset...time had stopped sometime that morning...

i just realized i am me.....im stuck in me forever...not that i hate it...but it feels weird to know u cant be...zudu..for example!

im feeling way too numb for a girl my age.

i have goals.but

i just want to lie down n stare at the ceiling for weeks...

what am i doing?
better go drink some milk

signs..

...so im talking to a friend...and i ask her about a girl (that i hardly remember) that we knew back at school...she receives a message that exact moment telling her that the girl got engaged and is to be married on...whatever!

...im ordering a meal...i ask the guy if they still have a certain salad we used to order loong ago...says no.....later that day....my sister { who happens to be in canada } tells me she decided to prepare it today!

...im checking this blog...im writing a reply to 'fadi k'...thinking of the best word to describe the way i've been living the last month....'Rolling'....i go to his blog....n there it is..the same word...

8|

all that in one day

i believe in signs

...what on earth does that mean??!!

i forget...i forget

Dreams-listen

With a blank expression...and a closed mouth... not exactly like this one.....but he's cute